Yesterday I cried myself asleep again. Harry thinks I dont care abouthim. I don't understand why either. What have I done to make him think that way? He seems to think that If i dont wanna spend every secong of my day with him, then i dont love him. That annoys the hell outof me. I want to spend time with my friends, I want to spend time to myself. I have so much on my mind right now and he doesnt know the half of it!! If I didnt love him i wouldnt have risked 2 of the best friendships I've ver had. I have never done that for a guy before! I always told myself I wouldnt let a guy come between me and friends, and I lost one of em. Ughhhhhh...I guess what i do do for him isnt enough. I try to spend time with him, i appreciate everything he does for me....i just....maybe too much time together can be bad. I've been there before and I dont want the same outcome. Oh yeah, and Harry, before you ask....thats clingyness. Not wanting to hold hands or cudlle or whatever, wanting to be with me every second. So, i guess you are kinda clingy.

Linda--- I know what you are going through. I've been there. Circumstances were a little different but not much. Hopefully, you dont lose Nicks friendship in the end. I hope you dont go thorugh as much pain as I did. If you need ANYTHING call me. me and u are gonna have to do sumthing one day, just the two of us, maybe KT. So we can talk.

Katie-- I love you girl! Thanks for being there for me thorugh everything. I think I need someone to confide in. and I'm leaving that up to you now.

Dan--I dont know if you will really read my journal...but if you do i want you to know some things. Even if they are repetitive. I never wanted to hurt you, and I'm sorry that I did. You were one of the best friends I ever had, and i miss you so much. Oh damn, lol here i go crying again. I hurt too, I dont think you understand how much. I miss goign on walk, and the laughter, lol and even the annoying way you say "meeeiiiaaa" heh But I'm happy now, well I tihnk I am. Even if Harry seems to be annoyed with me right now.

Katie and Harry--- I broke a promise to you both. Not saying anything else.

I have so much more to say but I'm not going to. I wanna stop crying, stop being depressed, I wanna be forgivin for the hurt I've caused all of you. I wanna take away Linda's pain. I wanna follow my dreams. I want to spend time with the old friends who are drifting away. I wanna talk to Aubrey, Dan, Jenny, and Martin. But even with all the drive i have, I cant do any of it.

"I can't pretend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me " --MC

~~Mia